The Diary of an 18 Year Old Rockstar
by Angels Breath
Summary: Future Fic Jude's diary while she's on tour. Jude and Tommy pairing
1. Happy New Year!

_December 31, 2007_

_Dear Diary,  
Here I am on New Years Eve, and I just happen to be on a bus to my next gig at some Toronto mall. Before I get too ahead of myself, let me introduce myself. My name is Jude Harrison, I am 18 years old, and I am just a normal girl. Oh wait, did I forget to mention that I'm a rockstar? Or maybe I should say Rockstar-In-Training. Anyway, let me explain everything to you. About 2 years ago, my best friend Jamie convinced me to try out for a competition called "Instant Star". I basically went out there and wung (or winged..I don't know!) it. I ended up winning the whole competition and living out my dream. Now, two albums later, here I am on my second tour, trying to promote my latest CD that just dropped yesterday! I guess you could call me lucky, but to me, my life is anything but lucky. I have guy troubles just like a normal girl, my sister is jealous of me, and my parents are divorced. Sounds normal right? Well it's not. I'll fill you in more later. Anyway, I gotta go, my boyfriend (ahh..that sounds so nice. I can finally say that! More on that later too) is calling me...talk to ya tomorrow! Happy new year to me! _

**As I closed up my diary, I couldn't help but smile. I was so wrapped up in writing, that I quickly forgot the time. "Oh shoot! It's almost midnight!" I shout out while running out find my boyfriend of two months, Tommy. Yes, that Tommy. You see, on my 18th birthday, he was still with Sadie, and they were pretty serious. After about 3 or 4 months after my birthday, Sadie dumped him because she could see how badly Tommy wanted to be with me, and she couldn't stand it to watch us be together always in the studio. At first, I didn't want to go out with him, but I could see that he really wanted to go out, so we did. **

**Anyway, I was running all through the bus, trying to find him, when, for some reason, I tripped and almost fell. I was trying to find something to grab on to, but I didn't have any luck. As I was bracing myself for the worst, I felt a pair of strong hands reach out and catch me. After I caught my balance, I turned around and stared into his eyes. "Girl, you might not wanna run in this bus. You know how you always trip over nothing..especially on moving vehicles!" Tommy says while laughing. I smack his arm and get back on my feet. As I turn to walk away, he grabbed my arm and tucked a strand of hair behind my ear. Giving me a huge smile, I hear the people counting down.**

"5"

"4"

"3"

"2"

"1"

"Happy new year!" People yell as Tommy grabs me and pulls me into a huge kiss. His lips taste soft and sweet, and I never wanted this moment to end. The kiss lasted at least half a minute. It wouldn't have ended if Jamie hadn't popped one of those champagne bottles and the cork didn't fly towards us. We just smiled and joined the party. It felt so good to finally call Tommy mine. I sigh happily. Just as we get into the room, Tommy turns to me and says, "I love you Jude." I smile widely and kiss his cheek.

"I love you too." Everything seemed perfect, and nothing could go wrong. Or at least, so I thought.  
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A/N: ok, there's that chapter. Anyway, in the next chapter, you'll be in for a HUGE surprise! Hehehe..5 reviews and I'll post more!


	2. Not So Happy Morning

_January 1st, 2008_

_Dear Diary,  
Listen, I can't write much today. I kinda have an emergency. I really need someone to tell it to. Hold on, let me flash back to what happened to today.  
_

---FlashBack---  
**_I was on the tour bus, just waking up from the long night we had last night. Let's just say that we had way too much to drink. But we didn't do anything like that though! Anyway, I woke up with a HUGE hangover from all the champagne we had. Yeah, so like I was saying, I had just woken up and I could feel someone staring at me. So I turn around, and I just see Tommy staring at me. "What?" I asked nervously. This staring Tommy was kinda freaking me out. "Nothing." he said with a kind of far away voice. I could tell something was up, usually he wasn't this quiet. _**

**_"Tommy, I know something's wrong. What is it?" I ask getting up and going to get my watch to check the time. _**

**_"I don't know what's wrong. Something just doesn't feel right about today." He said. It was kinda scaring me. _**

**_"Tommy, nothing's going to happen today. Everything's perfect and nothing could go wrong!" I said assuring him. He nodded his head as if he was trying to believe me. I kissed him lightly on the lips and assured him again. "It'll be ok, I promise." I walked out of the room and into the front of the bus to ask where we were. _**

**_It seemed as if no one was up yet, except for me and Jamie that is. "Hey Jamie, do you have any idea where we are?" I asked him. while getting a cup of coffee. He shook his head no, then yes. I groanded. I didn't need him movng his head up and down right now. My head was hurting enough as it is. "Jamie, can you please stop moving your head? You're making me even dizzier than I already am." I said groaning once more.  
_**

**_"Ok, ok, fine. But I need to say this. I told ya so! I told ya so! lol..and to answer your last question, I do know where we are. We are now officially in Toronto. Otherwise known as home!" Jamie excalimed. Obviously happy to finally be home. I had an idea about where he was going first. _**

**_"Hm..let me guess why you're so happy. You going off to see Kat? Or is it Sadie now?" I asked half-joking. Jamie turned a bright red. Ever since he had told me that he secretly liked Sadie, I haven't let it go since. But I knew that deep down inside that he loved Kat. "Chill Jamie, I'm just playing with you!" I said as he breathed a sigh of relief. I started cracking up. _**

**_"Be right back. I need to bring Tommy his cup of coffee. Somthing's up with him today." I say while backing out of the kitchen. Jamie just nods and goes back to his daily routine of coffee and the comics. As I get to Tommy's room, I saw that he was still on the bed watching TV. I handed him the cup of coffee, which he grabbed from my hand, almost spilling it. "Chill Tommy. Nothing's going to happen. But the more you think about it, the more it'll happen!" I say. Then, Tommy turns and glares at me, like, he's really mad, so I back away really slowly and walk over to the bathroom. I signal to him that I was going to take a bath or something, and he just nods at me then turns back to the TV. _**

**_Sighing, I thought about what Tommy has said about something happeneing. I couldn't help but think that it might be true. "Don't think that Jude!" I scolded myself. As I got out of the shower and wrapped a towel around myself, I felt a huge jolt that knocked me to the ground. As I got up, I could hear screaming, and I knew something bad had happened. Running out of the bathroom, I ran to the front of the bus. Looking around, I saw everyone there. Tommy came towards me and wrapped me in a huge hug. I wriggled out of it and tried to see what was happening. As I got closer, I saw what happened. A truck had rammed into the bus, right where Jamie was sitting when I left him. Running up to him I realized what had happened. Jamie had died._**

----End of FlashBack---  
_That's what had happened. Right now I'm on my way to the cemetary to go over the burial plans. Ok, I have to go right now. I can't write anymore. _

_Till Next We Meet, _

_Jude Harrison_


	3. The Sorrowful Day

**_January 13, 2005_**

**_Dear Diary,_**

**_Sorry I haven't written in a few days, I just haven't been in the mood to. Anyway, Jamie's burial is going to be in a few hours, and I'm kinda freaked out. I had to cancel the rest of my tour (not really a big deal to me, but to other people, it was), tell Kat (which really wasn't easy), and tell Jamie's parents. For some reason, I think they actually seemed happy for some reason. Anyway, I decided to write last night because writing was the only thing that could really keep my mind off today. I feel like sharing it with you, so here it is._**

_-One Big Mistake-_

_She lives a life of lies,_

_She thinks it just like a wild ride._

_She works all day,_

_Just to play all night_

_He spends his days at home,_

_Trying to keep his secrets._

_No one knows about what's going on at home,_

_Not that anyone cared._

_They both reached the end,_

_But at different times._

_One can't handle the pain,_

_One was driven there._

_But as they both jump off,_

_They see everything they've left behind._

_It's all a big mistake._

_He's leaving behind his family,_

_She's leaving her friends and future._

_Both of them leaving them all with pain._

_She lived a life of lies,_

_He kept a secret for most of his life._

_It never should've happened._

_But as they we're pushed too far,_

_They realized it was all a mistake._

_For ending their lives wasn't what they had wanted,_

_But it was all they had._

**_I know's it kinda sad, but I had to write it. I really needed to get all of it out somehow! I need to go, I'm getting all teary as you can tell from the teardrops on this page. I really miss Jamie, you know, but I have to let him go. Speaking of going, I have to go. Tommy's waiting in the car._**

**_Always,_**

**_Jude_**

* * *

**Jude closed up her diary and stuck it in her purse along with a pen. She hoped, for some reason, she would get inspired while she was at the funeral, even though it seemed kind of mean. She heard Tommy honk the car horn once more. Running out the door, she couldn't help but see how much of a mess she had become. Her once bright red hair was now dull and lifeless, you could see the pain in her eyes, and where the mascera had run earlier while she was writing. She studied herself a little longer, as if trying to figure out what to do. She almost felt sorry for herself. As she was about to apply another coat of mascara, she heard Tommy honk to horn and his car door open and slam shut. Walking in the door, Jude saw that Kat had come in. Her eyes were red and watery, and you could tell she had been crying.**

**"Are we going or not? Becuase I want to get there before they bury him you know." Kat said harshly. Jude had never seen this side of her before. Jude nodded her head sorrowfully.**

**"Yeah, let's go now. I just needed to think for a second.I just can't believe he's gone." Jude said. Her eyes began to well up with tears. She wiped her eyes before wrapping Kat in a tight hug. Returning the hug, Kat started to cry. Jude just comforted her. It was all she could do. Puling away, she gave kat a small smile.**

**"Let's go." Jude said before dragging Kat off to the car.  
When they were all safely in the car, Tommy could hear jude softly humming "Skin". He sighed. It was going to be a long, hard day for all of them.**

* * *

_ A/N: So..you guys like this chappie? lol..please R&R!_


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